Comma Dot Comma

The latest issue of Salt is out– Christian commentary and creative writing, edited by a friend of mine in Chicago. This month’s theme is “Beginnings.” I like it because a) they let me write stuff for them and b) they always have survey quizzes.

Also, the latest issue of Larknews, whose lead headline is “Warren to Buy Saints, Build Purpose-Driven Field.” Ha ha ha!

1. It looks like it was invented by somebody on drugs
2. Its leaves are magenta, light green, and dark green
3. Its leaves are all jaggedy
4. Its leaves grow in spirals around their stems, bigger and bigger!
5. Its stems are spiky and magenta
6. Its stems are more fuzzy than spiky
7. Its stems are juicy and succulent
8. If you go away for ten days and nobody waters it all the leaves collapse around the side of the pot like muppet hair.
9. If you come back after ten days and gasp at its sorry state and give it a bunch of water, its leaves perk right up like medusa hair and aim for the window, in ten minutes or less.
10. It is an optimist; it has a can-do attitude
11. It is nearly impossible to kill.

Yay Rex! Hero of the desk plant world.

Pied Beauty

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