Fri 21 Apr 2006
Now this just seems like the wrong way to make use of a cow:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/4373440.stm
I first read about the cow-fueled train in Discover Magazine, which stated that it takes about 30 putrefied cows to power the train for 75 miles.
I can’t say why it bugs me, apart from being just gross. Can I object on the basis of efficiency? I guess it just seems better to putrefy grasses than to let the cows eat the grasses and then putrefy them instead. If we’re going to grind up a bunch of cows, why not make hamburger? But then again, why is it better to grind cows into hamburger for people food rather than for bacteria food? Are people more deserving of hamburger than bacteria are? E. Coli might beg to differ. A question for the ages. (Maybe I should make a link on my sidebar, “Questions for the Ages,” and add these rhetorical gems whenever I include them in posts. That would make for an interesting list eventually.)
People are always telling me to look on the bright side. So, what is one of the dominant qualities of cows? Stinkiness. And what is the byproduct of putrefying a cow? Methane, which is extremely stinky. These people have figured out how to transfrom every cow trait into one: STINK! They say nothing makes a train go better than STINK! So you could say that the grind-up-and-putrefy-cows crowd are helping the cows find their truest, most cowy state in all of cowdom. At the same time, they are helping trains do what trains are supposed to do best: go, go go. It’s a win-win!
I’m still not seduced by my own optimism. There are lots of already dead things that would be more excited than live cows about achieving their True Stink Potential. How about raw sewage? Sewage must certainly aspire to becoming ever more stinky; it would rush to the putrefaction tanks of its own accord! A few live rats might accidentally get sucked into the Heart of Stinkiness now and then, but they will have to learn to accept that as one of the risks of their lifestyle choices.
How about farts, which are not that far from pure methane as it is? Maybe I’ll make my first million by inventing and marketing a contraption that gathers your natural emissions as you sleep. You take them to the store neatly pressurized in a tank and get coupons for free pizzas in return. You could probably store a year’s worth in one tank. I could then expand the product line for household pets and farm animals (Fart Snatcher: Barn Edition). So far I can’t think of any model that doesn’t involve suction cups… back to the drawing board.
There’s simply got to be something better than perfectly good live cows to power that train.
April 21st, 2006 at 3:26 pm
If I read that story right, it’s the ‘extras’ (organs, fat, etc) leftover after normal meat butchering they’re using. Not that that makes it any less gross, but at least they’re not fattening up cows just to power trains.
I might be wrong, but I believe I remember hearing that we have some similar biodiesel plants running here in the states on turkey guts. (Possible motto: ‘Thanksgiving saves the ozone layer’ ?)
April 22nd, 2006 at 9:50 am
Aaron– No actual hamburger involved, you say? Seems so! Here are the sentences from Discover that led me astray originally: “Until recently, only cow manure and other farm waste fueled this process. This summer, however, Svensk found a way to use the whole heifer. Now the company chops up the cows and converts their guts, fat and bones into an organic sludge…”
April 23rd, 2006 at 5:50 pm
Ick. I guess the process wouldn’t go over very well in India.
April 24th, 2006 at 10:06 am
I believe there have at least been tests to monitor the amount of ethane belched out and otherwise emitted by cows… Done by my very own Washington State University, no less. Not sure if they were toying with the idea of harnessing it and doing anything useful with it.
Haven’t I heard also that ants release a lot of gases? Wasn’t that thrown out there as a possible other (natural) addition to the depletion of the ozone layer?
Is it just me, or is that not actually so impressive — what did you say, seven cows can go 70 miles? Maybe if I saw the pile of coal it would take instead, I’d be more overcome.
April 24th, 2006 at 11:32 am
I’m not so grossed out now that I know it’s existing waste, and not killing cows just for the train. Although, what’s the difference between raising cows to eat, and raising cows for vehicle fuel?