Comma Dot Comma

At the intersection of fashion and function comes a breathtaking new product. I suspect as the trend takes hold, these must-have items will improve in quality of both materials and workmanship. But for those of you who are early adopters of new technology, you’ll want to jump on the bandwagon right quick to outfit every baby in your household. I notice that none are currently for sale on ebay, so entrepeneurs, a freebie business idea for you! Baby Mops!
(I don’t know the provenance of the picture, but thanks for the hot tip, Nate)

Here’s the text on the page:

“After the birth of a child, there’s always the temptation to say, ‘Yes, it’s cute, but what can it do?’ Until recently the answer was simply ‘lie there and cry’ but now babies can be put on the payroll, so to speak, almost as soon as they’re born.

Just dress your young one in Baby Mops and set him or her down on any hardwood floor that needs cleaning. You may at first need to get things started by calling to the infant from across the room, but pretty soon they’ll be doing it all by themselves.

There’s no child exploitation involved. The kid is doing what he does best anyway: crawling. But with Baby Mops he’s also learning responsibility and a healthy work ethic.”

Looking into my crystal ball, I see that my coworker’s idea for baby walkers that double as upright vacuum cleaners will be the next big thing, once the mop market is saturated.  Another freebie for the entrepeneurs!

It was a Klingon kind of day. Everybody had much larger foreheads than usual and they kept banging them into lintels. The ceiling had partially resolved to stop keeping its distance and thus advanced and retreated as it felt respective waves of confidence and self-doubt. “Am I too aloof?” my ceiling kept asking. “I usually define it as shyness but, I don’t know, sometimes I wonder if it’s just a euphemism for standoffishness. I’d like to make more of an effort to reach out; it just feels so unnatural everytime I try it. Hey, want to hear a joke? What did one wall say to the other? Meet me at the corner. Ha! Ha! See, that’s friendly, right? That’s relatable.”

“You’re in my personal space,” I said. “Could you back up a bit?”

“Ouch,” said this woman with a striking forehead. She had misjudged the height of the doorway.