Wed 24 May 2006
Take a 5 pound mound of raw hamburger, 80 to 90 percent lean, and set it on a tray covered with waxed paper then cheese cloth. Pat the hamburger into the shape of a daisy and store the tray in a cool, dry place such as a closet (It is necessary to avoid overstimulating the hamburger).
Once a day, open the door of the closet and throw in handfuls of chopped fresh cilantro, cats eye marbles, ketchup, and eyelet lace. If, after throwing in one handful of each, you hear the daisy say thank you, double the amount and sing as you throw it. If you hear nothing, verbally abuse the daisy and slam the door behind you. Eventually, the daisy may sing the low part of “Roll With It” while you sing the high part.
Do not, under any circumstances, let the daisy out of the closet. Drizzle it with vinagrette. Decide if it is amenable to tortillas. If so, you’re 90 percent of the way to Schubble Roll-ups. Congratulations.
May 24th, 2006 at 9:59 pm
But do not attempt this if you live with some sort of carnivorous pet. I would think that might be bad, no matter what the daisy said.
May 24th, 2006 at 9:59 pm
Oops, Erin. For some reason, the computer denies knowing me. It’s Kate. And don’t you dare say, “Who?”
May 30th, 2006 at 8:36 am
Kate, only if the pet knows how to open doors. That rules out monkeys right off the bat. This is a monkey-free recipe.