Comma Dot Comma

From the friend-of-a-friend files: Nate emailed me this true blue exchange between the makers of Brownie Bites and a happenstance consumer of said product (his friend).

Dear SugarBowl Bakery,

A co-worker recently brought a plastic tin of your bite sized brownies into work. Truthfully, the brownies did not look appetizing to me. I stayed away from them for most of my shift. However, being hungry, and needing energy for the trip home, I decided to try one shortly before end of shift. Wow. They are good. I mean really good. I was extremely glad I had not tried one earlier. I would have eaten the whole tray of them. They were so good, in fact, I even bothered to read the package that they came in. Then I became frightened. The package encouraged me to “enjoy these treats every day all day long”. Although initially sounding like a good idea, I decided to check the nutritional information. Each brownie is a nifty 140 calories. After some quick figuring of one brownie every fifteen minutes and allowing 8 hours a day to sleep, I realized you are trying to sell me a roughly 9000 calorie a day diet, half of that consisting of fat. Are you people trying to kill me?

Sincerely,

Chris B.

Dear Mr. B:

Thank you for your feedback on our petite brownie bites recently.

We appreciate hearing from our customers when there is an issue with our products and also when they tell us that “they are really good”!

Of course we are not trying to hurt anyone and like any food or drink products, everything should be consumed in moderation. A balanced diet as recommended by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration should lead to good health.

We are a very proud and long standing family run wholesale bakery in San Francisco.

We understand that in using the finest ingredients available to produce our products, that they can be quite habit forming. These brownie bites sell very well all over the world. We do have a Trans Fat Free line that will be produced before the end of the year.

Thank you again for your note and please keep eating those brownie bites…in moderation!

S.M.

Marketing Manager

Sugar Bowl Bakery

Interesting things I’ve happened upon in the last few weeks.
Some people really love their flashlight collections.

What ninjas think about the fighting scenes in Matrix (“It’s like a brick, trying to be Jupiter”). askaninja.com.

What do you get when you cross 200 liters of Diet Coke with a bunch of Mentos? Some pretty good choreography. (Link via nerdygirl).

I’ve often been the victim of mood oglers (warning: lotsa cussing), but I never had the term for it before now. In a moment of obsession I read cancerbaby’s whole blog a few weeks ago. She died last month. Here’s another really good, but sad, post by her, about marriage and stuff.