Fri 20 Oct 2006
Hopped Up
Posted by Erin under Arts and Culture, Pensees
[8] Comments
It’s two a.m. and I’m still hopped up on a chai latte I drank five hours ago. I’m thinking about garbage. We live at the end of a dead-end street. The opposite end, which intersects with a big road, has a very wide shoulder and a sign that says NO DUMPING. Propped against this sign is a green toilet and a giant stuffed cat. Or maybe I’d call it more of a cat-shaped pillow, white, with whiskers sticking out of the face part. It has a cute little smile. The cat is about the size of a small couch cushion and it seems to enjoy its pseudo-life. Kids and people waiting for the bus seem to enjoy moving the cat and the toilet around. One day, the cat will be perched jauntily inside the bowl. The next day, the toilet will be tipped over on its side, with the cat reclining against it. Recently a rusty old washing machine, a bike tire, and a bag of trash joined the toilet-cat combo, so now the cat has many more interesting places to perch.
For some reason I notice the flagrant dumping more at night, when the pile of junk gets caught in the flare of headlights as I turn onto the street; perhaps it’s because the objects no longer compete with the hillside or the traffic or the wild blue sky. It’s always interesting to see what configuration the stuff will take– will the toilet be hidden behind the washing machine? How far will the washing machine travel? The palette of burnt orange, avocado, and ( increasingly dirty) white works well, but how will the artistes keep the bulk of the largest objects from overwhelming the smaller ones? It’s like a private, constantly changing art exhibit. Once I saw a pair of ring-tailed cats contributing their own efforts to the piece, before racing off up the hillside. Once i had to slam on the brakes for a big black snake making right for it. That cat keeps on smiling.

A big black snake. Slithering across your street.
*shudder*
Ick. The toilet seems most unsanitary and I’m horrified that people seem to move it around.
When I drove by the NO DUMPING area yesterday, the pile was gone! Good thing I memorialized it on the blog.
I’m with Julie on the toilet.
The issue, that is, not an actual commode.
HA! Tara — that reminds me of one of those silly SNL ads from long ago that hawked a toilet for two — for the couple that truly can’t stand to be away from each other, even for long enough to do their business.
Ewwwww.
Signs like that invite me to mentally vandalize them. By peeling off, painting on or covering up part of the letters we could get,
NO JUMPING
NO PUMPING
NO LUMPING
NO BUMPING
Tara– ha ha ha! Good one.
Nate– Great idea! Now, how could we get it to say “No Grumping”?
(P.S. Nate, you haven’t sent me any blog ideas in awhile, I’m having to rely on my own meager resources!)
Hrm. I’ll have to be more alert for bloggables. Maybe I can send you the great “workforce health survey” I recently got roped into completing, with its results. Spoiler: one question is “are you a) mostly satisfied, or b) mostly dissatisfied with your life?”. One possible result for “your customized most likely causes of death in the next 10 years chart” is “suicide”. The good news is, “some aspects of our health are unavoidable, such as heredity, but others are within our power to change!”
It would have been funnier though, if I had answered the questions more sarcastically/less truthfully