Comma Dot Comma

In my last post I talked about my interviewing strategy (aka, Memorize Myself).  That is all well and good, some might say, if you happen to be naturally confident and good at talking to people.  The rest of us schmos are doomed to struggle nervously.

Actually, I am not naturally good at talking with people.  ( My sister has legitimate reasons for calling me Ms. Non-Sequitur!)  I am also not naturally confident; it is not unheard of for me to fall into a self-criticism trap in which I analyze each thing I say and do as i say and do it. This is lame of me.  So how do I escape nervousness before and during interviews?

1.  I really, truly, spend time memorizing myself.  Just like the times tables, baby.  Now I’m so used to the process that I just do the occasional update.  At first, I made lists and columns and drew matchy-match lines between them.  You could even make flash cards: draw one from each pile (Values, Skills, Characteristics, Stories) and make a coherent answer out of them.  After awhile it gets easier than:  “Quick!  What’s 12 times 3? 36!”  Very little thinking is required in the crucial moment.  That way I don’t freeze up like an otter pop.

2.  I guarantee myself good results.  The best thing I ever did for myself was get rid of absolutist, either/or thinking.  The results of an interview are not a) a job offer or b) failure.  Instead, an interview includes a range of possibilities and outcomes, many of which will be positive.  But just in case everything goes horribly awry, I always promise myself a hot fudge sundae from the dollar menu on the way home.  That way I know for sure going in that something good will come out of it in the end.  Other positives:

• I will get to explore an area of the city I am unfamiliar with
• I will look good and get out of the house
• I will meet, and have substantial conversations with, interesting new people
• Even better, those people will have experience and expertise in my field, and I’ll be able to have substantial conversations with them about it
• Even if I turn out not to be a good fit for this job, people will remember me for other things that come along.  And, I will remember them, too, once I actually land a fantastic job and need to develop a professional network.
• I could actually get a new friend out of it (happened to me once, so always a possibility…)
• I could get offered a better job than the one I applied for (that happened to me once, too)
• I will become more at ease in the interview setting and learn from others and myself
• Even if I end up feeling horrible, it will be a good opportunity to learn. At the very least, I’ll know how not to act when I am an interviewer grilling some poor soul.
• Hot fudge sundae!

3.  I deliberately don’t think about how my interviewers might be judging me. That’s just borrowing trouble.  Maybe that alleged scowl means the person is displeased, or maybe she is just trying to hold back a burp.
4.  I act like myself.  It requires too much concentration to pretend I’m “better” than I am, and it will backfire in the long run.  If an employer isn’t going to be able to coexist peacefully with my personality and working style, it’s better to find that out now.  Of course, I do make an effort to emphasize my strengths.  I also don’t mean by “personality,” bad habits that will be a canker on the buttocks of any setting, such as frequent complaining or not keeping one’s word.   Self-confidence does not require others to graciously accept one’s flaws.  It does, however, include the discernment to accept my various traits as neutral or positive parts of me, and to look for work partners who can do likewise.

5.  I pretend that I already know and trust the people in the room.  As a bit of an introvert, it is sometimes difficult for me to connect with new people.  I can find myself thinking, “This is a waste of effort.  I’m putting myself out there for someone I will probably never see again. This stranger has power over my life and I resent it.”  It is easier for me if I think of it as a continuation of a relationship that has already begun, and will likely continue in the future.  After all, the interviewers have read my application and spoken with me briefly on the phone.  They already have a sense of who I am and where I’m coming from.  They may soon become my colleagues, or members of my social circle or professional network.  In addition, even one conversation with someone can be rewarding, regardless of any longterm “benefit” I get from the person.  Most people are interesting and even friendly, meaning that the odds are that my trust is not misplaced.

Unfortunately, I have yet to figure out how to fight the clammy hands phenomeon.   Those crease marks I get from sitting on them are almost as icky as the sweat.  Oh well.

Off to visit relatives for a week come Monday, in a pre-internet setting.  Check you after  Christmas!  May this holiday reveal to you your truest, most long-lasting treasures, and increase your thankfulness for them.

I’ve got another job interview on Friday. This one will be interesting because I’m not sure exactly what I’m interviewing for; it’s the result of a personal contact rather than applying for a posted position. I do know I’m supposed to bring writing samples. I’m still trying to decide between the bodily fluids survey I did on the blog and the poem about a parasite busting out of a crab’s gut. Tough call; they both have their separate charms. The more gore the better, right?

Nervousness isn’t much of an issue for me. Usually, good things result from job and networking interviews that I do. I walk away with some kind of offer– not always the job I applied for, but something (once I got offered a better job, but usually it’s a worse one).

Since I have such positive outcomes, I thought I’d share my magical interviewing secrets with my fellow unemployed stalwarts, sitting in their cold garrets memorizing commonly asked questions. First, I never memorize other people’s lists. Instead, I memorize my own self. There are four big wicker laundry-style baskets kept in my mind’s work-related storage area. They are labeled “Values,” “Skills,” “Characteristics,” and “Stories.” Almost any work story, good or bad, can be useful in an interview, so long as it has a little drama. I keep three or four items in the first three baskets, and six or seven in the fourth. I like to have everything out where I can see it mentally, without too much piled up.

My first goal in an interview is to project an accurate picture of myself by emptying those baskets during the course of the questioning. For any question that is asked, I quickly decide which two things from the baskets I can emphasize best in my answer. Then I pick a story that includes those elements. It’s a simple mix-and-match formula.

For example, let’s say an interviewer prompts, “Describe a time you overcame a challenge.” I look in the values bucket and pull out “clear, honest communication” I look in the characteristics bucket and pull out “learn quickly.” From the stories bucket I grab that time I went ahead on a project without clear direction and had to do it over afterwards.

My answer will be pretty short. “I have always valued clear communication between me and my colleagues. Its importance was highlighted for me when, for the sake of efficiency, I moved ahead on a two-week project to develop the new cheesy snacks policy without clear direction. Two days before deadline, my boss told me I had gotten it all wrong. Though I initially felt discouraged, I listened carefully to her advice. Then I did some extra research in the academic literature and gained a new understanding of the melted havarti situation both historically and worldwide. With these two sources of knowledge, I quickly learned and applied a new strategy and was able to complete the project by the deadline.”

My second goal is to be relaxed and real. The question-answering technique is a bit formulaic, which could work against me, especially in a long interview. So my style of interacting is to behave as I would among friendly colleagues, or with a boss with whom I have a good relationship. Interviewers are trying to imagine how they would feel about sharing an office with me or supervising me, and when they sense authenticity, they like it. They don’t have to guess about what my real personality is.

I crack occasional jokes, I talk about poetry, I make eye contact, I look for ways to connect with my interviewers. Before and after the interview I make small talk and ask advice about the area–hikes, home-buying, whatever. When the interviewers ask something difficult, I just say, “Wow, that’s a doozy. What an insightful question. I’m going to have to mull it over for a second.” Then I take a drink of water to stall until I can come up with a response. After all, in my past jobs, I have never been afraid to admit I need a little time to figure something out. Why should I pretend otherwise now?

My third goal is to help both the interviewers and myself imagine my future place in the organization. I want to get a feel for how it would be to work under or alongside them, and I want them to imagine me doing good work with them. This part is a little trickier. There are three steps. The first is doing research on the company in advance (yay internet!). The second is decoding the values of the interviewers from their questions and interviewing style. The third is asking good questions.

Research is simple– I look at an organization’s whole website, as well as anywhere it appears in the news or academic literature. I look for quotes from the CEO or people that will be over me. Sometimes I even work the info into my answers, where my values and the organzation’s values match up.

Decoding the culture of a workplace is a little tougher, but it can be done. For example, at one interview, I had an exact number of minutes to answer each question, and they were taped to the table in front of me so I could read along with the asker. I could guess from this situation that the department would be unlikely to view tardiness or vagueness kindly.

At the end of an interview, I ask the questions I really want to know the answers to, although always couched in neutral language. “How would you describe the culture of the workplace?” “Who would be my supervisor?” If the person interviewing me would fill that role, I ask, “What is your management style?” I ask how long people typically stay in the position, and what they move on to next. I also ask if they are anticipating any major changes in the mission or organization of the department, and where they expect it to be in the next few years. Usually, they won’t tell me the real answer, but they’ll hint. I stop after about three questions.

If they answer me by referring to me personally, rather than a hypothetical employee, I know I’ve met my goal. “Oh, you would get to sit by the window and eat our experimental sharp cheddar fortnightly.” Yes! I’m in! Sometimes people are surprised to find themselves being interviewed by me. But hey, I gotta know what I gotta know. No point in signing myself up for 40 hours a week of total mystery.

So that’s it. One, two three, shazaam! They dub me Assistant Vizier of Tasty Cheeses, if I so choose. Now, if I could just figure out how to GET interviews for the jobs I want most…