In my last post I talked about my interviewing strategy (aka, Memorize Myself).  That is all well and good, some might say, if you happen to be naturally confident and good at talking to people.  The rest of us schmos are doomed to struggle nervously.

Actually, I am not naturally good at talking with people.  ( My sister has legitimate reasons for calling me Ms. Non-Sequitur!)  I am also not naturally confident; it is not unheard of for me to fall into a self-criticism trap in which I analyze each thing I say and do as i say and do it. This is lame of me.  So how do I escape nervousness before and during interviews?

1.  I really, truly, spend time memorizing myself.  Just like the times tables, baby.  Now I’m so used to the process that I just do the occasional update.  At first, I made lists and columns and drew matchy-match lines between them.  You could even make flash cards: draw one from each pile (Values, Skills, Characteristics, Stories) and make a coherent answer out of them.  After awhile it gets easier than:  “Quick!  What’s 12 times 3? 36!”  Very little thinking is required in the crucial moment.  That way I don’t freeze up like an otter pop.

2.  I guarantee myself good results.  The best thing I ever did for myself was get rid of absolutist, either/or thinking.  The results of an interview are not a) a job offer or b) failure.  Instead, an interview includes a range of possibilities and outcomes, many of which will be positive.  But just in case everything goes horribly awry, I always promise myself a hot fudge sundae from the dollar menu on the way home.  That way I know for sure going in that something good will come out of it in the end.  Other positives:

  • I will get to explore an area of the city I am unfamiliar with
  • I will look good and get out of the house
  • I will meet, and have substantial conversations with, interesting new people
  • Even better, those people will have experience and expertise in my field, and I’ll be able to have substantial conversations with them about it
  • Even if I turn out not to be a good fit for this job, people will remember me for other things that come along.  And, I will remember them, too, once I actually land a fantastic job and need to develop a professional network.
  • I could actually get a new friend out of it (happened to me once, so always a possibility…)
  • I could get offered a better job than the one I applied for (that happened to me once, too)
  • I will become more at ease in the interview setting and learn from others and myself
  • Even if I end up feeling horrible, it will be a good opportunity to learn. At the very least, I’ll know how not to act when I am an interviewer grilling some poor soul.
  • Hot fudge sundae!

3.  I deliberately don’t think about how my interviewers might be judging me. That’s just borrowing trouble.  Maybe that alleged scowl means the person is displeased, or maybe she is just trying to hold back a burp.
4.  I act like myself.  It requires too much concentration to pretend I’m “better” than I am, and it will backfire in the long run.  If an employer isn’t going to be able to coexist peacefully with my personality and working style, it’s better to find that out now.  Of course, I do make an effort to emphasize my strengths.  I also don’t mean by “personality,” bad habits that will be a canker on the buttocks of any setting, such as frequent complaining or not keeping one’s word.   Self-confidence does not require others to graciously accept one’s flaws.  It does, however, include the discernment to accept my various traits as neutral or positive parts of me, and to look for work partners who can do likewise.

5.  I pretend that I already know and trust the people in the room.  As a bit of an introvert, it is sometimes difficult for me to connect with new people.  I can find myself thinking, “This is a waste of effort.  I’m putting myself out there for someone I will probably never see again. This stranger has power over my life and I resent it.”  It is easier for me if I think of it as a continuation of a relationship that has already begun, and will likely continue in the future.  After all, the interviewers have read my application and spoken with me briefly on the phone.  They already have a sense of who I am and where I’m coming from.  They may soon become my colleagues, or members of my social circle or professional network.  In addition, even one conversation with someone can be rewarding, regardless of any longterm “benefit” I get from the person.  Most people are interesting and even friendly, meaning that the odds are that my trust is not misplaced.

Unfortunately, I have yet to figure out how to fight the clammy hands phenomeon.   Those crease marks I get from sitting on them are almost as icky as the sweat.  Oh well.

Off to visit relatives for a week come Monday, in a pre-internet setting.  Check you after  Christmas!  May this holiday reveal to you your truest, most long-lasting treasures, and increase your thankfulness for them.