Been sick for about a week. At the beginning, there were two really knock-down, glassy-eyed, fuzzy-brained days. Since then, I weave between sort-of-better and more-of-the-same, sneaking to the empty office at work for catnaps during the long days and working from home for most of today, (even though my phone voice is something to be reckoned with– deep and scratchy) Being mildly to moderately ill is one of the most boring states there is, I’ve decided. All the things I feel like doing bore me before I even begin to do them. Take food. I lay there on the couch and think of the various yummy meals I could concoct: chicken and lentils in marsala sauce over rice; greek-style potato salad with pine nuts and feta; tossed salad with chipotle-glazed chicken on top. Then I think about the energy it would take to concoct them, and how unappreciative I would be of my efforts. Then I toast an english muffin. Toasting english muffins is only marginally less boring than thinking about toasting english muffins.

Now I’m entertaining myself by thinking about what would be more boring. I could be sick with only Avon catalogs in the house to read. Or, I could be in a multi-day meeting with no AC, where people keep making longer and longer speeches about nothing and everyone stays just so they can get the treats at the end. I could be in charge of manually changing all the lowercase x’s on a giant spreadsheet into uppercase x’s. I could be stuck in a training where the only activity for hours and hours is filling in the blanks. I could be a security guard at an office building where I had to sit up straight at a kiosk and wear a tie and make sure each person was “badging in” correctly. I could be in charge of a colicky new baby that only sleeps fifteen minutes at a time. That would cause more despair than boredom, though. See, when you start to reach the extremes of boredom, it just turns to despair or anger. True boredom needs to be pale and innocuous to qualify.

And yes, I’m going to the doctor in the morning, and no, I don’t believe myself to be contagious, though that may have little bearing on reality…