Tue 28 Aug 2007
Note: Some of the following instructions may not apply to all parties. Adjust accordingly.
1. Sleep. Get up at 2:40, when your perpetually awake spouse shakes your foot.
2. Stumble onto the balcony in your pajamas and sneakers, blinking at the sky.
3. Note how the bright edge of moon looks like something you could eat. And how blurry the edge is, throwing off lozenges of light.
4. Look at it through the monocular.
5. Look at it through the antique brass spyglass.
6. Look at it with the naked eye.
7. There it goes!
8. The moon is a dirty penny.
9. Through the spyglass, it is a pocked orange-brown rubber ball.
10. Take umbrage at the constant references to “blood red” in the press.
11. Blood can be many colors and none match the moon. Blood red indeed!
12. Announce that this is your first time watching a full eclipse.
13. It is not your first time. Several years ago, on another continent, you and the spouse stacked furniture in the hallway to climb through a hatch onto the roof. The moon was not full and the sky was cloudy. Then you called it a thumbprint.
14. It feels like the first time.
15. That’s got to count for something.
16. Stop counting. It’s the middle of the night.