All the predictions were true. Our first weeks as homeowners have involved constant trips to the big box home improvement stores. The other night Dr. G pulled his favorite purchase from the Home Depot bag with a flourish: a black light. The bulb would only fit in a floor lamp, so we plugged the lamp into an extension cord and took it out back. Gary swept the house perimeter with the upside down lamp while I shadowed him, brandishing a 2″ x 4″. We were searching for scorpions, which conveniently flouresce under blacklight. We only found one, which I dispatched like the heartless scorpion killer I am. Just call me The Crusher.

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